My Own Brand of Crazy

Dear awesome readers,

I feel I should apologize to you for the incredible lag on the third book in the YA Charmed Chronicles Series, Demon Dreadful, and why I postponed the release of my adult paranormal romance novel, IMMORTAL ECLIPSE .

I struggled with myself about posting something so personal on my blog, but decided that my readers needed to know and understand why my next two novels were delayed. Normally, I'm a very private person and the act of writing this very personal story feels almost antithetical...

Over the last year or so, I’d taken my daughter to numerous doctors that had all given me various misdiagnoses on her skin condition and nose. (Her nose had started to shift at an odd angle and it looked like it was broken.) When her hair started falling out, I decided to consult a specialist who immediately ordered a biopsy and an MIR. And the result of that visit in August has turned my world upside down…

The doctors explained the situation using words like incurable, progressive, untreatable. Any time doctors tell you that your 7-year-old has a chronic condition, you panic. I think my brain shut down at that point. My heart jumped into my throat. My mind was just spinning with fear, worry, shock...

She was diagnosed with a rare and severe disease, which is a form of systemic Lupus, and from what I understand, less than 300,000 people have this disease in the US. There is no cure. 

This disease will leave my daughter disfigured and scarred. It is an autoimmune rheumatic chronic disease. The exact cause or causes of the disease are still unknown. It is known that it involves an overproduction of collagen. In this case, it is effecting my daughters face and skull. It's an autoimmune disorder, which means that the body’s immune system turns against itself. But what my daughter has is a rarer form of the disease, which affects the skin, skull, and the brain. (Because it can affect the brain, seizures are sometimes associated with this aggressive disease.) 

Eventually, she will need to undergo several surgeries to correct the distortion that has already affected one side of her face and nose. It has also caused quite a bit of hair loss. And she'll battle the pain of arthritis for the rest of her life...among other aliments. Fun disease, huh?

My first reaction was utter disbelief. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry, but I couldn’t do that, even though I was scared and anxious. Honestly, I don't handle stress very well and I couldn't sleep. Also, I develop my own brand of crazy when I'm sleep deprived.

But I knew I had to be brave for my daughter and supportive. I had to put on my “happy face" and continue the book blog tour and promotions that I’d promised to book review sites. I had to schedule doctor’s appointments and pick up prescriptions. I still had deadlines from my publisher, and two more books to finish editing, if I was going to be able to pay for "said" doctor visits and prescriptions. 

Juggling all this as an out-of-work, single mom was tough. Looking back over the last few months, I realize now that most of us can find that hidden inner-strength within ourselves. A strength we never knew we possessed until tragedy strikes a loved one. And my family has been unbelievably supportive through all of this, which has helped keep me sane. My sister-in-law, Andrea has been my rock. My mother has been my shoulder-to-cry on. Everyone else has been very kind and understanding.

Well, the first three months we practically lived at the hospital while she underwent IV steroid treatments. Now, she has to take several different medications every day and a form of chemo once a week in an effort to slow the progression of the disease, and hopefully within three to five years it will become dormant…until puberty hits, that's when it’s known to reappear with a vengeance.

Sometimes I ponder all the hopes and dreams I've had for my daughter since she was born, and all the wonderful things I've imagined her life would be. I pray she'll make smarter choices than I did. I hope she accomplishes all of her dreams. That she goes to college and will always love to read. But I never imagined her going through this…

So my life has been crazy busy the last seven months. But you know what? Despite having to go through this horrible ordeal and chemo therapy, my daughter, who I try to encourage daily has been encouraging me. She’s proud of my accomplishments as an author, and she’s also my biggest promoter, even telling people waiting in line at the grocery store: “My mom wrote a book! It’s really good—you should read it.” Cute, eh?

My daughter inspires me every day, and even at this tender age, she knows that writing is like

therapy for me. In other words, it keeps mommy sane. 

Although I admit, I didn't feel like writing anything the first four months. I wasn't in my happy place and I couldn't write in my normal snarky, humorous voice because I wasn't feeling like my usual snarky or humorous self. *sigh* 

Anyhoo, I’m hoping to have another book released soon.

Enough rambling, I just wanted to say thank you for your patience and continued support of my writing. You guys are the ones who have made my dream possible and I promise more fabulous books in the future. I should have at least three more chilling, epic tales published this year. 

Peace, love, and books,

~Sherry